Blog 90: Loving Me Like God Made Me

Hello, Unburnable Family!

Happy Word Wednesday, and welcome to September. You made it!

This year taught me something new about love. Do you mind if I share it with you?

When you’re a little kid, you think everyone is safe, kind, and trustworthy. But as you get older, you slowly realize that some of the people who used to be a daily part of your life are people you no longer speak to.

Dreams you once had have gone quiet.

Jobs you wanted keep passing over your head.

Relationships change.

People change.

And sometimes, life just doesn’t unfold the way you imagined it would. (Sucks, huh?)

So I learned this about love:

You have to love yourself enough that when people hurt you, life happens, situations change, a dream looks far gone, and somebody—a boss, a coworker, a friend, a partner—decides they can no longer handle your heart with care, you don’t hand them the rest of you too.

They already hurt you.

Don’t help them hurt you by abandoning yourself afterward.

God created our hearts in such a way that one of the last things we can afford to do in the middle of something hard is give up on ourselves too.

And I learned something this year that actually made me really happy: when I love myself well, everything else begins to flow from the love God has already given me.

When I start seeing myself, my work, my talents, my accomplishments, my service, and even my mistakes through His eyes, I gain a greater appreciation for the person standing in the mirror: Me.

John 15:13 (NLT) says, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Jesus is the greatest example of love because He gave His life for us. His sacrifice showed just how deeply He cared about our souls, our future, and our relationship with God, the Father.

And then there’s Hagar.

In Genesis 16, Hagar is mistreated by Sarai, Abraham’s wife and her master. Eventually, she runs away and finds herself alone in the wilderness.

And that is exactly where God meets her. Hagar calls Him El Roi—“the God who sees me.” I love that.

Hagar had been treated as though her feelings, her body, and her future were things other people could control. But the way people handled her was never evidence of what she was worth.

God still saw her. So Hagar’s story makes me wonder:

What happens when the person who was supposed to care about you doesn’t?

What happens when someone you trusted changes?

What happens when the friendship ends?

When the relationship falls apart?

When the opportunity doesn’t come?

When something you thought would stay becomes something you have to grieve?

One of the greatest lessons I’m taking from 2026 is this:

I learned to care for the person God entrusted me with: me.

Maybe self-love isn’t staring into the mirror and convincing yourself that you’re perfect. Maybe it’s looking at the person in the mirror after everything that happened and deciding: “I’m still going to take care of you.”

Whether it was a bad grade, the loss of a job, the changing of a friendship, the betrayal of someone you loved, or simply a strange season where you’re trying to figure out who you are and what you like, know this:

It is okay to grow in and out of things.

Before Hagar learned anything else in that wilderness, she learned that she was still seen. Still known. Still loved. God saw her through her change, her hurt, her circumstances, and her uncertainty.

And maybe that is part of how we learn to become healthier people too.

(1) We seek God in prayer.

(2) We forgive ourselves for what we tolerated because we wanted something to work. (Whether tolerating a lack of peace or joy, disrespect from a person, or suffering from stress)

(3) We stop begging people to recognize our value.

(4) We allow ourselves to grieve without building a home inside the grief.

(5) We keep promises to ourselves.

(6) We protect our peace without becoming cold.

(7) We remember that losing someone does not require losing ourselves.

(8) And we allow the way God treats us to influence the treatment we accept from ourselves and from others.

And while we’re talking about caring for ourselves, I think one of the worst things we can do is constantly speak down to ourselves.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

That includes the way you speak about you.

Your words can tear you down, or they can help build you back up. So what are you saying to yourself?

Think about a small child. Children often begin to believe the words spoken over them. If they are constantly called smart, kind, capable, creative, or loved, those words begin shaping the way they see themselves. And unfortunately, the opposite can happen too.

Sometimes I wonder if there is still a part of us that works the same way.

What names are you calling yourself when nobody else is around?

Failure?
Behind?
Not enough?
Unwanted?
Too much?
Unsuccessful?

Or are you learning to speak about yourself the way God speaks about you?

And maybe an even bigger question is: What are you attaching your worth to?

Your accomplishments?
Your title?
Your relationship?
Your dreams?
Your grades?
Your job?
The number of people applauding you?

I used to attach so much of my value to things like that too. Until I realized how exhausting—and unstable—that kind of worth is.

Because accomplishments change. Titles change. Opportunities come and go. Dreams sometimes take longer than expected. People can celebrate you one day and overlook you the next.

But God’s love does not rise and fall with any of those things.

And I think that is why I feel the most limitless when I learn to love myself through the love God has already given me.

Because His love has no limit.

If my worth begins with Him, then I don’t have to spend my entire life proving that I deserve to exist, belong, create, dream, or be loved.

I can grow without hating who I am right now.

I can correct myself without condemning myself.

I can fail without calling myself a failure.

And I can become better without believing I was worthless before.

That part about not becoming cold matters. Because pain has a way of making you want to shut everything down.

No more trusting.

No more caring.

No more loving.

No more giving.

But in order to do what God has called us to do on this earth, we still have to love people—even people who have hurt us.

Why? Because they belong to God too.

Loving people does not mean giving everyone unlimited access to you. Forgiveness does not mean pretending something never happened. Having a soft heart does not require having no boundaries.

You can love people and still walk away. You can forgive people and still protect your peace. You can wish somebody well and still understand that they no longer belong in the same place in your life.

I want to be in love with love. Full of love. Blooming with love. Because everything Jesus did, everything God does, and everything the Holy Spirit produces in us flows through love.

And I cannot say that I love God while intentionally treating His people like dirt.

So maybe self-love isn’t selfish at all.

Maybe healthy self-love teaches us how to receive God’s love, how to care for what He created, and how to love other people without completely losing ourselves in the process.

This year taught me that people can leave. Plans can change. Dreams can shift. Hearts can break.

But none of those things require me to abandon the person God is still growing me into.

The God who saw Hagar still sees me.

And because He sees me, I’m learning to see me too.

Let’s pray:

Thank You, God, for this day. Thank You for Your new love, mercy, and grace that find me every morning. Thank You for provision, joy, trials, circumstances, and newfound knowledge.

I love You, Friend.

Amen.

Love you, Unburnables.

Keep loving. Keep growing in and out. ❤️